This post if just for Fun and giggles. One of my colleagues / lunch buddy was leaving the company a few months ago and I decided to make a requirement for open best friend position. Everyone got a kick out of it so why not share it with you guys. This requirement was made for humor purposes only. It does not represent any employee or the company they work for.
BEST FRIEND POSITION OPEN
Title: BEST FRIEND ( AT |||||| PROPERTY ONLY)
Terms of Employment: Seasonal, Full Time, On Call, Weekend, Day, Night, Evening, Everyday.
Salary: To be negotiated, Piece Work
Anticipated Start Date: NEXT WEEK (ASAP)
• Must be able to behave like a fourteen year-old, act like all other.
• Provide information about inside jokes on a need-to-know basis.
• Persuade everyone that it’s really fun to yell out loud.
• Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans
• Ensure that people don’t smell funny. Carry a deodorant for them at all times
• Spend most of the day surfing.
• Smash metal plates into each other.
• Must be willing to call it a day, if the internet is not working. (no internet, no work)
• Make sure nothing ever happens. (use your best judgment)
• Move things from your cube to mine:.
• In case of emergency run away and call |||||||. If you don’t know what it is, you can not apply for this position and it sucks to be you.
• Copy and paste the Internet.
• Repeatedly fix what everyone repeatedly break.
Education: Not required
Credentials Not required
Experience: Will train
Languages: Not applicable
Work Conditions and Physical Capabilities: Fast-paced environment, Repetitive tasks, Physically demanding, Hand-eye co-ordination, Combination of sitting, standing, walking, Standing for extended periods, Walking, Bending, crouching, wasting time.
Work Site Environment: Bunch of ||||||||